Reducing the level of shyness when talking to people whether it’s your boss, your co-workers, or anyone you meet in a professional setting. Shyness is a completely natural reaction and you shouldn’t beat yourself up because you tend to be shy in front of others.
So, this module is going to help you to understand where your shyness really comes from and we will explain to you 4 ways to overcome shyness.
4 Ways To Overcome Shyness
In society, a lot of us tend to think of shy people as people who are gentle, who are sweet, who are nice kind of fragile but of course they just don’t talk a lot because they’re shy, which may or may not be true.
If you’re someone who shies you may have those qualities as well, maybe you were born into a certain culture or society, where you were raised to believe that you need to be humble, conservative and you can’t be too extroverted because that’s not a quality, that is good to have in that certain culture society.
As a result of that you’ve become this person who is shy but here’s the thing that you really should know.
The thing is that shyness can be learned and practiced over time. You may have a tendency to be shy, but that’s because you’ve been practicing it all your life, so if you want to stop being shy you have to even learn it from within yourself. Once you realize that the fact that this is true for you if you’re shy, will assist you in eliminating your shy tendencies.
Reasons for being Shy
The reason why you are shy and why you tend to have trouble connecting with others when you’re talking to people is because your current attention isn’t on that other person, that you’re talking to but instead your way to focus on yourself.
You’re saying to yourself :
I don’t think they like me;
I don’t know how to talk to them,
I’m worried about what they think of me right now,
I hope I don’t say the wrong thing,
and with all of these worries and thoughts, you cut yourself off from being able to have a truly meaningful conversation with this other person because you’re way too consumed with yourself and if you were to be honest with yourself.
you’re way too lost in your own head with your own thoughts about yourself so now that you know why and where your shyness comes from let’s talk about how you can help yourself to overcome it. So, the solution to stop being shy tips –
TIP 1: To adopt a curious mindset
Shift your focus away from yourself, from your own concerns and nervousness, and onto the other person when you’re in a position when you’re talking to others. Turn your attention to the other individual. This may sound dumb, but imagine you’re virtually a news reporter attempting to interview someone and gather information for a new piece you’re conducting as a news reporter.
Adopt an inquisitive attitude because you want to understand more about the person you’re conversing with. By adopting a curious mindset, you were able to engage with them by asking them questions and wanting to learn more about them and their interests.
TIP 2: Elaborate on your responses
When someone asked you, questions don’t just give them one-word answers for example if they asked you are enjoying the work that you’re doing don’t just say yes and leave it at that say yes, I’m enjoying the work that I’m doing because of reason number 1 and reason number2 and maybe even reason number three.
TIP 3: Have a story to share
Another way to connect with the other person, and is instead of just giving them one-word answers or just giving them a couple of sentences. Have a story to share, have a story that you can tell them about that relates to the exact topic that the both of you are talking about. As humans, we love to hear stories and when you’re able to share a story that is meaningful to whatever it is that you’re talking about with another person, you’re able to engage them further and this is what develops your bond with the other person in a closer way.
0 3 Major Components to a Good Story:
- Situation – setting up the story; what was going wrong, what are the issues, etc.
- Telling them about what you did as a result of that situation what were your action steps
- What were the end results?
TIP 4: Be present and listen intently
Have you ever been in a situation where you are talking to someone, they ask you a question and you’re answering their question but you can tell that they’re not even really listening to your answer, there just waiting for you to finish talking so that they can jump in and ask you another question. This is not the correct way to talk to someone. Be waiting for them to finish answering your previous question just to ask them another question because they’ll know that you didn’t actually listen to what they said.
Here’s a Quote:
“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.”